They say that a lesson is repeated until it's learnt.
When it comes to understanding how to bring balance to my life I feel like I'm back in Kindergarten. Except I'm not your average kid - the one who happily goes from one fun activity to the next. No. I'm all work, no play. Everything has to be purposeful, meaningful. It's all gotta count - I can't waste a minute. Fun is frivolous and to be had when the work is done.
You don't have to tell me - I'm way outta whack I know. And I'm feeling its effects.
Last night I was on the phone to my husband who spends every second week away for work (that's definitely not fun for me). Anyway, I was telling him how I feel like every day is the same lately - very ho-hum and very little fun.
While we were talking I decided to randomly choose a card from my little G-jar.
Hmmm. This is nothing new.
I've drawn this card before and delved right into its possible meanings. Is it about balancing head and heart? Or the so-called positive and negative aspects of my self? Or maybe distributing my time more equally among the realms of the mental, the emotional, the physical and the spiritual? I have pondered it all.
Or at least I thought I had until this morning.
I came into my office to start writing what was to be a different post to this, and saw the balance card resting where I had left it last night. And then it hit me : There is not enough balance between work and play. Even though I don't have a formal 'job', I am always working!
I work on words - reading them, writing them , understanding them, which I love, but it never stops. And when I'm not doing that, I'm doing housework. And when I'm not doing that, I'm running errands or cooking tea. Or reading more words!
And when I do get some 'free time' I want to use it wisely - I can't bear the thought of wasting it. So what do I do with it? I use it to be productive. And I work some more.
Today I am meant to be on jury duty, and with relief, I am not required till tomorrow. Good -because I have so much work to do and I'll be able to get heaps done! But my enthusiasm waned when I thought of spending all day at the desk, especially with a sore belly. At the same time I had just text a beautiful friend, updating her on my health status. Her reply was the antidote I didn't know I needed. It was an invitation to play. To be spontaneous. To do something out of my ordinary. To have fun.
What if I've got it all wrong? What if the pushing and striving - work harder, work now, work more! is what needs balance? Goosebumps.
I think my response says it all. I replied maybe, but didn't really want to. For once I wanted to say a big strong YES!
Researchers tell us how important play is to creativity and psychologists tell us that fun is an intrinsic fundamental need. Besides all that, it just feels good.
I think I've learnt my lesson. The work can wait - I need some fun!
When it comes to balancing work and play, consider me moving into Grade 1 ; )